


The Making of the Vorta

by cool_ha_ha



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Crack, POV First Person, Vorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cool_ha_ha/pseuds/cool_ha_ha
Summary: The Founders successes and failures in developing the Vorta.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	The Making of the Vorta

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed the Vorta are completely useless outside of their jobs and wondered about the story Weyoun told. Heres my head cannon.

Founders log:

In case the link never receives this information through merging, we have opted for a spoken / written version for our solid dominion members to pass along if the worst were to happen.   
If the dominion were to ever fall, have these documents terminated at all cost.

Recently, the changeling home world has developed an army of genetically enhanced beings called the Jem’hadar. The task was simple enough; Check the DNA, edit as you wish, remove free will so on and so forth. The only real issue with the process was loyalty. They could become loyal to anything if it became a temptation, so we made the decision to infuse them from birth with a drug called Ketracel White, which worked with full success. The Jem’hadar remain loyal to anything that supplies it, which is the Founders.

Unfortunately, the plan to protect the home world also means leaving it as the Jem’hadar need constant instructions, reassurance and doses of the drug. Leaving the link isn’t usually a problem as we can return to regenerate and pass information as soon as the mission is complete, but a few of our peoples have not returned from such battles, leaving the link with a dilemma.

The solution was not an easy one to come to, but it has been decided that the wars need commanding by another peoples. A peoples who can be cloned quicker, talk their way out of a problem and don’t mind relaying information between the Jem’hadar and us Founders.

The situation began mere weeks ago when we found a planet with no civilised peoples on it and we inspected the races cohabiting on it. A small primitive primate was found with all the desirable qualities necessary. They ran away upon our arrival, discussed among themselves and then one by one came down from the trees to investigate. They appear to live on nuts and berries solely and have a complex social system.

We chose a handful based on the following criteria; speed of decision making, family loyalty, size of family, speed of spotting danger and ability to learn. These traits show us who are the most successful in their tribes and we can edit easily to our advantage. Their DNA was retrieved quickly and the entire planet was left in peace in case we ever needed more DNA. 

*  
New log entry.

The first three Vorta ever were built. On the surface, they were perfect. As soon as they woke up, they awaited instruction and silently followed like a pet. When introduced to the Jem’hadar, they all took their roles very seriously and commanded with efficiency. One of the males even managed to avoid bloodshed by explaining the statistical chances of surviving resistance, causing a complete surrender of the planet.

Behind closed doors however, they cannot stand clothes, they are easily distracted, quadrupedal and animalistic. They don’t know we know, but they seem to forget we can shapeshift and hide in plain sight.  
Last night for example, the three of them were allowed to retire for the night and I was asked to watch them for examination purposes. The second the door closed, they all stripped, made a nest of sheets and pillows on top of a wardrobe and spent the evening off ground grooming each other. 

The link has made a few decisions.

*

New log entry.

The Vorta have been remade completely. The same three with no memory of their last counterpart. Once again, all exceeding expectations at their jobs, but this generation have had a few primitive social cues removed. They sleep in beds alone and have stopped picking at each other. The only downside is that they have all lost some hand eye coordination and gross motor skills. Hardly worth noticing really. 

As expected, this has caused another mishap. Socially, they’re all inept.

Near the Jem’hadar, they are fine diplomats and concise in their words. Near each other, they’re lost. They don’t seem sure about each other any more. Giving eachother weary looks and refusing to talk about anything beyond work. The link is yet to see any reason to edit them as of yet.

*

New log.

A decision has been made to edit them. I am sorry to report the three of them were found copulating in a supply closet. One of the males and the female were caught with the other male watching. 

We blame ourselves really. We forgot solids have sex and become frustrated without it. All three are now more sociable, but if frustration becomes an interference with their work ethic, it must be dealt with.

*

New log entry.

Since removing their primitive drive to mate and removing some territorial fear of other Vorta, this new set seems much more professional. They notice each other and that is all. We have reports of competitive behaviour, but between all three of them, not just between the boys, which we are happy about.

In relation to the last mishap, the female was flirted with by an alien on her last mission and found no temptation with him. The boys are equally disinterested in anything beyond basic contact. However, a new temptation has caught the trio; Food. Noticeable weight gain has been noted by the link and under further inspection, they have found comfort eating has replaced the old behaviours.

The link is yet to decide how to deal with it.

*

New log

Further examination of the Vorta DNA has shown that with their modern adaptations, comes an influx of sensory experiences and seeking of such. The new Vorta have replaced their old social behaviours with eating as it produces a similar chemical in the brain.

The fourth set will have their old taste buds reinstated without any of the old social features. The only exciting food they will recognise will be berries and nuts.

Which brings me to another point. Their lack of gross motor skills means running, climbing, judging distance and all other vestibular activities are a challenge, so to help avoid such struggles, we have decided to implement more into their behavioural code. The new code will have them believe they are above such tasks unless asked to do so by a founder, but we are the ones who took that ability and we shall not be requesting it purposefully.

*

Another log.

The task has become more complicated. The more features we replace, the more they struggle. They know they can’t be poisoned so they eat anything regardless of whether it is edible or not. They have confused themselves sexually with each other and aliens, one being recently caught getting inappropriate with a soldier. They didn’t know it was sexual (apparently.) Socially, they are bitchy with each other and the Jem’hadar, but will do even the impossible for a founder. (Having no sense of humor does not help the situation.)

This newer version must be a compromise as no other species has met any of the requirements up to press. And we have sent scouts to look for beings that might be of use. All have come back negative.

A decision has been made to allow them courtship if work requires it.  
Their bitchy competitive behaviour will be considered a positive if it encourages higher rates of success in their tasks.  
As for food, their metabolism has been lowered to discourage unnecessary eating. No drug will have an effect, no poison will kill them. 

The link is becoming frustrated with their failures. The Vorta’s I mean.

*

Final log

Many years since the first primates DNA was collected, the link is finally ready to call this version the final version.

Firstly, we would like to compliment their success as communicators and diplomats, having extreme tolerance to many environments and ways of life. We have seen them befriend, backstab and decimate many races in the name of the Dominion. They sleep soundly knowing they have done right by our eyes. ALONE.

We are sad to say every now and then we clone a defective who is missing one of the many traits gifted to them. Maybe they have lost their religion, or are more sexually active, or can succumb to poisoning. These are rare cases and can be taken away quickly with use of the termination implant.

Secondly, their primitive behaviours are all but gone, but we fear they still find subconscious comfort in high places or eating specifically berries and nuts. Nothing dangerous but still evidence of an animal we do not associate with our army.

We have allowed the Vorta to share the beds of aliens as a means to an end. They cannot breed, they cannot feel much, they have no urge for it, but so far none have complained about ending up there. Most of the Vorta prefer to be solitary, but we did remove their need for companionship, though we have a theory they can still feel love.

Thirdly, their physical skill is still low, but they think fast with very little in the way of negative emotion. Even dying, we’ve seen them smile and in being resurrected they smile the same way. They brush feelings such as regret and hate off with relative ease, forgetting mistakes as soon a solution is found and forgiving ill doings in the blink of an eye. 

Physically, they are resilient but not strong. We’ve seen them walk through deserts after a crash and go hungry for days if necessary. We’ve seen them attempt to complete tasks that would not be possible if not for the sheer amount of will power they present. They have no remorse, no ethical standards, no biases, no prejudice, no standards, no principles beyond what we dictate for them.

Beyond these odd mishaps, we are proud to announce the newest members of the Dominion, with many more variations to come. With each Vorta comes a personality, and each of those can be exploited to do specific tasks. We will build more, each slightly different to the last, who will learn and pass their knowledge to the next reincarnation. 

End of log

**Author's Note:**

> I made a tumblr btw. I have no idea how to use it.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this nonsense.


End file.
